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Reflections
You know? I'm feeling a little weird and, as we are close to
Halloween, decided that the below Email I recently received
from a fellow "musician" was so very fitting. This is a perfect
example of a-well, er, um, you fill in the blank. Perhaps,
you will get as little of a proverbial kick out of it as I did.
Please forgive me for leaving the Email in an "All Caps"
format, but this is exactly how it arrived in my inbox. Based
on this "All Caps" approach, it seems this individual could
also use some education in Email etiquette.
I have omitted the name(s) to protect the genderless guilty
(even idiots require protection at times). Let this degraded
attempt at communication serve as a lesson to all. Verily,
verily, I say unto thee-in your business communications
within the music industry, ESPECIALLY, your initial
contacts, NEVER do this! And, I mean NEVER!
"HI KENNY LOVE, COOL NAME. MINE IS -------------. I
RECEIVED YOUR E-MAIL TODAY. KENNY YOU LOST
ME SOMEWHERE.HOW DID YOU FIND ME? DO YOU
KNOW WHO I AM? IM THE LEAD GUITAR PLAYER
FOR -------------------------------------, WHICH IS MY
STUDIO. I AM ALSO A REP AND SCOUT FOR A$R
AND EPIC AND SOON TO BE LOCAL STRINGER FOR
MTV. I AM ALSO A BAND MANAGER FOR ABOUT 1O
BANDS. I HAVE MY ASSOCIATES DEGREE IN MUSIC
AND WILL BE GOING TO FULL SAIL REAL WORLD
EDUCATION IN WINTER PARK,FLA. TO GET MY
B.A.IVE BEEN DOING PRETTY GOOD FOR MYSELF
AND MY CREW UNDER MY WING. I AM ALSO ONE
OF THE TOP TEN WANTED LEAD GUITAR PLAYERS
IN THE COUNTRY RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NUMEROUS
OFFERS THAT I AM CHECKING OUT RIGHT NOW. IM
TALKING PRO SITUATIONS. DO YOU KNOW JULIE
ANN,? SOLO ARTIST OUT OF AUSTIN/DALLAS,TX.
SHE WAS ON THE A$R FRONT PAGE LAST
MONTH.SINCE YOUR FROM TEXAS YOU SHOULD
HAVE HEARD OF HER, IF YOU DONT ALREADY
KNOW HER. WELL I DO AS WELL AS NUMEROUS
OTHER GREAT TALENTED BANDS. I DONT WANT TO
SOUND PRUDISH HAHA OR ANYTHING BUT IT
WOULD BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO NOT ASK TO
MEET ME WHILE HOLDING OUT YOUR HAND FOR
MONEY, CANT BLAME A GUY FOR TRYING THOUGH
MR.KENNY LOVE. BUT I WOULD CONSIDER SEEING
HOW WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER IF YOU REALLY
KNOW YOUR STUFF. ALSO MY DAD IS A WRITER OF
BOOKS, 2 BEING RELEASED IN 2000 AND HE HAS
MOVIE OFFERS. WE HAVE A FILM AND MOVIE
PRODUCTION COMPANY CALLED -------------. ANYWAY SINCE I LIKE YOUR NAME I
WOULD LIKE TO TALK WITH YOU. SO YOU CAN
CALL ME AT -------------. IF IM NOT HERE MY EXEC
SEC HEATHER IS HERE ANSWERING MY PHONES,
BEEPERS AND CELLS PHONES AND E-MAILS. TALK
TO YOU SOON, --------"
Kenny Love: "Gee, you think? I'm calling this guy right
now!" (Oops! Afraid I let the gender be known after all!)
Are there lessons to be learned from the above attempt at
Communicating within the Music Business? Yes, by simply
Repeating over, and over, and over, the PM Oath (Professional
Musician's Oath) below. Now, repeat after me:
"The PMO (Professional Musician's Oath)"
"I am a Professional Musician. I realize that although I love
my art, I am still very much in a 'business' and will, by all
means, conduct myself as such in all appropriate instances. I
understand there is etiquette, even in a free-flowing industry
such as my chosen field. As such, I will learn to execute my
actions in a professional business manner when required to do
so. Under no circumstances will I ever exchange
communication, verbally, written, or otherwise, so as to
represent myself as a totally unadulterated Idiot."
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