MusicDish e-Journal - December 11, 2019
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The Syphlloids Doin' It Family Style!
By Matthew S. Robinson
(more articles from this author)
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Having lost a number of members in a series of bizarre agricultural mishaps, Boston's first family of flail, The Syphlloids, continue to band together to do things (and people) in their own inimitable and (thankfully) unique style, pushing the cheeks of society with their firm and throbbing musical tongue.

Evolving amidst the tumult of father Elvis's recurrent "vacations" on Ryker's Island, The Syphlloids now count among their brood vocalist/guitarist/college professor Bug Syphlloid, bassist/restauranteur Fargo Cockring Syphlloid, guitarist/car salesman Felony Syphlloid and baby brother Jacko Homo Syphlloid pitching in on drums between classes and short order shifts. Armed with only their instruments and their double-wide (oft mistaken for each other), The Syphlloids have greatly developed both their musical abilities and their fan base since their first performance in 1994. What has not changed, however, is the band's relentless "DIY" attitude and remorseless affronting of the industry establishment. Bent on "pissing off as many people as possible," The Syphlloids overtly bad-mouth club managers and record and radio types who have done them disservice while delivering music that is intelligent and artful.

Continually in search of the elusive golden ticket which will allow them access to superstardom, The Syphlloid brothers remain wryly content to keep slogging it out in the pits with their fervidly devoted fans. "We're not going away" Bug pridefully sneers, citing the sustained and sustaining love and respect the band shares both among themselves and with their audience regulars. "Somebody's going to get it." In the meantime, Bug asserts, "our goal is to provide [our fans] with the best entertainment we can and to share love, tequila and women with big jugs."

Such is the motto of the modern punk band. However, The Syphlloids are no mere punk band. Combining vein-busting rhythms and ballistic guitar attacks with aggressive vocals and a heavy punch of side-winding humor, The Syphlloids mix the separatist anger of the original punkers with a modern insight and cleverness not often found in any genre. Unfortunately, few outside of The Syphlloids's devoted "family" lend them the ear or the esteem they deserve. As a result, the band has opted to accept and even adopt the mistakenly prevailing attitude and destroy it from inside. "We know we suck," Bug admits. "Nobody sucks like us. [But] we have to work hard to look this lax!"

Despite the pejorative disregard of many of the musical masses, The Syphlloids are able to maintain a high musical standard and an imperiously optimistic outlook the state of the industry and those who supposedly make it work. "We don't have a high opinion of ourselves," Bug offers. "We just have a low opinion of everyone else." Unfortunately, this low opinion is often deserved, as The Syphlloids know all too well.

However, while many industry types thumb their noses at the trailer park quartet, peripheral entities such as Sony Playstation have tapped the boys for material and guidance. Repeatedly cited in Billboard and played at over 200 stations across the country, The Syphlloids undeniably have something on the ball. Unfortunately, most industry types never get to the nut.

Realizing and even embracing the position of the band in the eyes of those who should know better, the flatulent fraternity continues to offer unabashedly "kick ass" live performances and ever-more biting social commentary, looking forward (or back) to the days when bands, bookers and broadcasters cooperate more and constipate less. In the meantime, The Syphlloids will continue to ride the corporate muscle until it finally blows its load and comes around to the realization that clever and cynical does not mean bad. In fact, far from it!

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