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Moonwalking Down Memory Lane
By Kenny Love
(more articles from this author)
2001-08-06
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Just when you think the well of insanity can be dug no deeper, and has run completely dry in the famous "Jackson" clan, a member springs yet another leak to surface once more.

I'm specifically speaking of all the hyped up hoopla surrounding yet another upcoming "reunion" concert in September which, on average, seems to take place every 17 years, since their last one was held in 1984. If the average family had a reunion this often, family members would hardly recognize each other. Hell, I hardly even recognize mine from year to year.

But, here's the cork-popper. Can you believe the price ticket outlets are trying to charge per ticket for attendance to this farce? $2,500! That's right...in case you feel I developed a nervous twitch and, inadvertently, added a "0," let me do as my third grade teacher, Mrs. Porter, instructed...write it out. [Two thousand, five hundred dollars]. Granted, in all fairness, there are lower ticket prices for the bill, but guess where you are going to be seated? Yep, that's right! :-)

Now, after seeing that, what do you think the scalpers will be required to charge, you know, with the economy being in such state as it is? Come on, just for grins, give it a guess. Which, by the way, brings up another thought...

How many of you Indies out there are getting even 1/2 this ticket price? Okay, how about even 40% of this, at $1,000 per night? The Jacksons are getting this, PER SEAT in certain sections!

What? Say you're still playing for that measly $300-$500 per night? Well, pardon my Choctaw language, but that's just a damn shame!

I recently expressed to our label's debut artist, "Brizite," that if the Jackson clan is successful in even halfway filling a room with diehard morons at the $2,500 price, with all things being equal (or, is that UN-equal?), I *KNOW* that he should be good for, at least, $1,000 per night, per room, minimum, and especially since he, at least, has a contemporary repertoire deemed to be more in line of what Urban Hip Hop/Rap fans, in particular, are seeking musically today.

And, here's the best part...since we won't be expecting him to execute for us, a nightly "moonwalk" ritual across a wet stage, he doesn't even need to concern himself with obtaining any accidental dismemberment or life insurance policies and/or addendums either.

Actually, quite a bit of nepotism is being exhibited with regard to this proposed Jackson reunion tour, as I see that the all-star lineup just about consists of the same artists who were on the Jackson's "Victory Tour" reunion back in 1984...again, 17 years ago! Amazingly, all seem to still be breathing independently.

While on an Urban chat site recently, I found the post of a member hilarious that said that Michael Jackson hadn't released a RnB record since his "Off the Wall" recording, way back when they still sold full-length LPs at retail.

If, as statistics reveal, 60%-70% of American youth (regardless of their ethnicity) are now into Hip Hop and Rap music (believe it, or not, it's still true), while aging fans of the Jacksons are at health risks if they even think about twitching their booties, let alone shake them, I look forward to seeing how many $2,500 seats will be sold.

In the words of Steve Harvey, undeniably, my favorite comedian, "This sh*t is outa hand, y'all!"

P. S. If memory serves me correctly, I believe that all Jacksons (except Michael, that is) might possibly be earning the standard minimum wage of $5 per hour, but don't dare quote me on that!


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